Talking Race – revisited

Once again, following her bedtime story, my daughter and I had an interesting discussion about skin color. I cannot recall what drove us to this conversation, but in it my daughter told me she wished mommy and dad had black skin color like her. I asked her about why she wished that her mommy, daddy and her all matched. She really couldn’t say why, but she did list off all of her family members who “…have light skin.” This included grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins, with the exception of her brother.

I then pointed out all of the unique families and families of color that she sees on a regular basis. There are the transracial adoptive families at her school and in our adoptive families playgroup, the Ethiopian family in our neighborhood, and her biracial friend who has an African dad and a Brazilian mom. She pointed out the families she knows with two mommies and asked about one of the transracial families she hasn’t seen in a while.

I asked her what she thought about all these unique families that look a lot like her family, to which she replied: “I’d like to go to sleep now, daddy.”

Even though I could not get to the bottom of her desire for us to be black, I think it was a good conversation for a four-year-old.